The Ultimate Guide Through Divorce

The Ultimate Guide Through Divorce

Well, actually this is a preview of what is coming. I am planning a seminar in Santa Monica, CA. sometime in July, 2015. (Date T.B.D)

You will also be able to download the complete guide as an ebook soon.

I’ve spent a lot of time coaching individuals, but I have also received tremendous insight running my support group, Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce.

Through the group, I learned that I need to make more time for individual 1 on 1 coaching as well as open the experiences of the group setting to a wider audience.

My goal is to begin separating the journey through divorce into 7 categories. This way, we can work in each of the areas without feeling overwhelmed.

We naturally define ourselves based on our relationships. The attachment changes when we let go knowing that the other main person in our life doesn’t want to be with us or we no longer want to be with them.
Remember, the person we married is not the same person we are divorcing.
Who are we without them? This is part of what we need to uncover and discover.

How to heal?

Holding on to emotion is like being punched in the face. Initially it hurts, but the pain eventually subsides. However, every time you think about it, it’s like getting punched in the face over and over.
Plus, you empower the person who punched you without them even realizing it.
So, take your power back! Release and begin the process of freeing and healing.

Now that you have the basic premise, here’s the brief overview:

ULTIMATE GUIDE THROUGH DIVORCE OVERVIEW

1. Navigate the on-going emotional turmoil

a. Thoughts create emotions. Allow the thought to enter, recognize it and ask if you can let that go and by when?
b. We are usually at our best when we are at our lowest. Chose to overcome obstacles and turn them into opportunities. You have that power!
c. You are not your relationship. Visualize and document in detail the life that you want.

Opening up that space allows for great things to be attracted to you as long as your energy is vibrating at a high frequency.

2. Financial stress

a. In a “community property” state (CA) your spouse is entitled to half of every dollar you earn, including all your joint assets and retirement plans
b. However, every dollar your parents gifted you or her individually are strictly yours or theirs,c. Get your mind around the fact that you will now have half of what you had but you can rebuild and grow since you removed the negative anchor that is preventing your growth. You can now invest for the long term.

3. Legal

a. The “just get me out” mentality creates future additional stresses. The minute you leave your house, you give control of your kids to the spouse who stays in the house.
b. This helps the courts see the status quo has been established Your spouse is home with the kids and the courts don’t like to displace. This will most likely lead the court to establishing child support and visitation accordingly

4. Taking control of your life

a. Practice daily Gratitude, Compassion and Love. This will support healing and being present. Be Compassionate to yourself but don’t anchor to it as an excuse.
b. Forgive yourself and don’t stuff your emotions. This will create a pressure cooker that will eventually lead to depression or anxiety.
c. Begin by creating the life that you always wanted to have and why you want it.

5. Re-learning to meet people

a. Until you heal yourself, you will not have the right energy to attract a positive relationship to your life.
b. We still have a basic human need for connection therefore meeting people without any expectations can serve you in a positive way
c. There is a way to use new media like dating sites to connect to people that are positive in your certain stage of healing.

6. Co-Parenting

a. Co-Parenting provides stability for your kids. You must develop a cordial relationship and a set schedule
b. Set boundaries. Avoid taking out your frustration in front of the kids and speak positively about your spouse to your kids. If you have nothing positive to say make sure it’s not negative. Your kids are half you and your spouse so kids can take any negative comments personally
c. The only thing you can control is your own relationship with your kids. So show a lot of love and be the best parent that you can be and don’t spend a lot of your energy concerned about what happens in your spouse’s house.

7. Do’s and Don’ts

a. Don’t jump into an immediate relationship. You are vulnerable and injured, that is exactly what you will attract
b. Do invest your time and energy into taking better care of you. Eat right, exercise, get a haircut, and buy some new clothes.
c. Don’t mask the pain through alcohol, drugs, spending money, etc…
d. Do invest in clarity. You are going to feel pain but you have an option to linger in it.

Please email me at lenmay@lenmaycoaching.com or fill out the form to your right if you would like individual coaching or for me to email the Guide to you directly.

Thank you!

Gratitude, Love and Compassion open up space for you to enjoy the life you always dreamed of!

Len May